So I am left wondering: Do I stay in a mediocre gor for the kids, or do I leave for my own interest? Any advice?
Experiencing such an intense mutual connection feels wonderful, and your task now is to understand the nature of it better. Nobody—not your wife, not a new partner, not your daughter—can fill that hole for you, even if it seems like your co-worker is doing so in the moment.
Communication issues can lead to a person feeling emotionally unavailable, and many people who feel that way come alive in the presence of a shiny new potential partner. This is especially important because, as bdtter tell it, your earlier decision to get back together with your now-wife was influenced, at least in part, by the opinions of family and friends.
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Another thing for you to consider as you go through this process is that no one else can tell you what bettwr do. There is no more spark.
How open are you to her true self? Only then will you be able to make a decision not out of guilt or confusion or quiet desperation, but out of a grounded place of knowing. Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. When I look down either road, I fot see only fear and regret.
Lori Gottlieb Eventually, my wife found out about this, but she still wants to work on our marriage. That, combined with the lack of intimacy in our relationship, makes me wonder if I would be happier with a divorce. You say the spark is no longer in your marriage and on a positive note, you remember the sparkbut many parents entrenched in the day-to-day with infants or toddlers feel this way, and seek out, either in fantasy or reality, a welcome escape from the sometimes mundane, roommate-like existence that couples can fall into during this phase of life.
How much empathy do you have for her experience of the marriage and what her wants and needs are? I feel much better when I am actually heard, but the resulting fights are frustrating because they are fruitless.
Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. I still love my wife, but I am just not in love with her. If you were to leave now, you would be the single father of a young child and a newborn, with a girlfriend who may not have an interest in raising these children with you—changing diapers, waking up several times a night, spending time at baby birthday parties and the pediatrician and the park.
Moreover, if you two eventually have children together, you may find yourself five or 10 years from now wondering how you ended up in the same situation once again: content, ahlf with decreased intimacy, increased tension, and a nagging sense that Mocha Almond Fudge is an even better flavor of ice cream than Rocky Road.